“Because you do not think of air until you are asphyxiating. You do not think of sunlight until you are blinded.”


Life as it is

There was something quite refreshing about going back to the province, to the farmlands and to the simple living that was my grandparent’s home.

Yesterday, my family went back to the farm where my mother grew up. It was to commemorate the “kayhap” of my grandmother who unfortunately left us last December 5, 2014. Although this was without a doubt a sad and an utterly down moment for our family, the fact that for the first time in forever our whole clan was gathered somewhat proved to be a compensation.

There was an underlying emotion that was present all throughout though. Regret. Regret that when our wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother was alive, none of this merry-making and familial bonding ever happened.

Nevertheless, we had so much fun catching up with each other. I probably never laughed so hard in my life as I laughed these past few days. The whole place was filled with laughter, music and “fun”. They were practically permeating the air around us.

This was probably our own way in hiding our grief and helping my grandfather, who without a doubt was the most affected, forget the pain in losing his other half. I’m probably gonna write another post about my grandparents but I guess that’s another tale for another time.

The real reason I had for writing this post was actually a realization that I had while I was on the way home with my father today. Apparently, I got side-tracked.

Riding a tricycle from the farm, I looked out to the sweet scenery that was nature, The fresh green grass – uhh rice, actually- was still damp from the morning dew. Farmer’s were scattered all over the place, tending to their own crops. The plain serenity of the place was enough to put a smile on my face. I would have brought out my tablet and take a picture of it if it weren’t for the fact that I’ll probably drop the said tablet because of the speed at which we are traveling. That and the bumpy terrain.

The next landscape that faced me was filled with trees. Something that I don’t quite get to see when I’m in the cities. Honestly, the almost novel sight was nothing short of refreshing.

The next sights though touched my heart. Now while that sounded overly dramatic, it was not far from the truth. The ‘simple’ houses that lined the road made me realize that there are people out there that are less privileged. Now while I am not bountiful myself, I can’t help but feel sad for the situation some of my countrymen are in. Really, how can politicians look into these places and not at all feel pity at the people they are stealing from? How can they prioritize their own luxury than tend to the basic needs of the people they are to serve?

It’s mind boggling, really. Heartbreaking, even.

And while I may sound overly idealistic to the ears of some, I want to help these people. I know I can’t help everyone enough. I’m not even sure I’ll be successful myself. But I want to. I want to be successful enough to be able to really help these people. I want to help these people. And I will if I can. I will start with my relatives who still need financial help. Then I shall slowly do something that could help the people around them.

Stupid, stupid dirty politicians. Hope they rot in hell.

Now while I do understand that some politicians are still good and just cannot go against the “Way of Philippine Politics”, I still wish that I will live to see the day where corruption is at its minimal. Where the rich learn to share their provisions to the poor.

I know I may sound like another overly idealistic and utterly dramatic kid out there, but I honestly wish for this day. And I really, undoubtedly, want to be a part of it.

Ongoing List about Me.

  • I like blue food
  • I’m afraid of cockroaches
  • I am fond of small glass bottles
  • My favorite seat in a jeepney is one of the corner seats. (preferably the right one)
  • My mom wanted me to take up ballet when I was a kid.
  • I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid.
  • Favorite colors are blue and black.
  • Ice tea for favorite common drink.
  • I wanted to grow old and not drink coffee. Didn’t happen.
  • I am fond of horses and cats.
  • I am a nature-person.
  • I am a cat-person. I don’t hate dogs though.
  • Favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla. Next ones would be Cookie Dough, Cookies and Cream, Bubble Gum and Mint Choco.

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Rant 101

I’ve decided not to include rants in my blog lately but meh fck that self-imposed rule.

I am so fckin depressed right now I might as well just curl up and cry. Okay. Of course, that’s another exaggeration again. But seriously speaking, I feel so down and stressed right now. The fact that I might fail my subject and be delayed is starting to sink in. Well, I still have a chance to pass or maybe get a 4.0 but ughhh it’s not a good chance. I feel so pissed at myself for not doing better from the very start. I know I must sound stupid ’cause, really, for all I know I actually have a passing standing right now but but but I really just can’t help it. The intensity of possibly failing is starting to hit me and fck I feel like throwing something (okay, so I threw my phone already and it’s now refusing to turn on -_-) . Fck.

Ayoko nang maging tamad. Ayoko nang maging pabaya. Please. Please. Please. Tres lang please. O kahit kwatro na. Please. Gusto ko nang mag-36, 32, 33 tsaka 38 next sem. Please. Please. Please. Birthday-Christmas wish ko na for this year. Please, Lord. 😥